Back to school and the term ahead

With summer holidays behind us, there was much excitement in Westminster around the arrival of the new headmaster this week. Although he had been appointed during the summer break, this was his first time addressing the pupils.

However, first, it was time for Mr Burnham to gather his departmental heads in the staff room for a briefing on the weeks ahead. Top of the list on the blackboard was a review of the school policies and updates from the bursar, Mr Healey – was he going to levy additional charges on parents or was he going to give more free lunches away? Rumours suggest that there is some disagreement between teachers as to whether more school funds should be spent on perimeter security or not and one disgruntled American parent threatened the school with a legal challenge over the ownership of the traffic islands outside of the school park if security was not beefed up to his liking.

Mr Burnham addressed an assembly of all pupils from all years. He talked a lot about his vision and being different to the school leadership of the last 40 years, promising to give everyone a stake in their education and deliver academic growth to every desk in every classroom.

The popular maverick pupil, Nigel F, turned up to school again yesterday, having dropped out at the end of last term. Rumours that the school disciplinary committee might suspend him later this year – something to do with collecting pocket money from other pupils in the computer labs.

At school council question time and Mr Burnham fielded questions from the various class representatives, including the latest head of the school council, Kemi B. Chair of Governors, Mr Hoyle stepped in to chair the discussion and ensure order was maintained at the annual event which typically attracted a lot of energetic shouting and jeering from the pupils at the back.

There was a reshuffle of the school council at the weekend and some of the new active members including Andrew G, Katie L and Tom T replaced leavers like Mel S, Priti P and James C.

The headmaster promised honesty and careful management of school expenditure, before referring to his previous school, the GMC Academy, where he had turned it from an inner city sink school to a global beacon of business academia.

Aside from question time, lots of issues are rumbling in the school corridors this term including a big issue around the school estate, with director of estates Mrs Rayner planning to sell off some playing fields for housing while Katie L has pushed the school council to object and demand that the school save the green playing fields. Mrs Mahmood has also been tasked with stopping the unauthorised use of small boats on the boating lake – in a reported heated exchange, some colleagues were advised to stop sticking their oar in….at least outside of scheduled rowing practice sessions. 

There are also some big questions around where the school sources its energy (oil tanks or wind turbines), the location of school information on data servers, and whether pupils caught in a breach of the rules should be released early from detention. An ongoing challenge for the school is connecting the power lines to a local electricity sub-station but head of M&E, Mrs Fahnbulleh is said to be planning a solution.

After such a busy week, what does the rest of the new term hold?

Top of the list is a series of field trips for every school house, and members of Reform House are already packing their backpacks and sports equipment ready for their trip to Birmingham this week and they will be away between 3rd and 5th September. Next up is LibDem House, spending 19th-22th September in Brighton, and then Labour House, who are returning to Liverpool again for four days from 27th September. 

The following week, school minibuses are at full capacity as Plaid Cymru House head to Llandudno and Green House head to Brighton on 2nd October and before they have returned, Conservative House heads to Birmingham on Sunday 4th October. Finally, SNP House will be heading north to Aberdeen between 15th and 17th October.

Bursar Mr Healey will present the annual school Budget to the entire school community on 28th October.

It is unclear when Mr Burnham will host the next major school fete and invite the public to view the school – the next event was not scheduled until August 2029, but he is said to be considering hosting an event later this year or early next year. Although, we expect this will be influenced by Reform House head boy Nigel F and his gang are likely to cause any embarrassment on the day.

Meanwhile, in a bumper start to the latest house points competition, the following points were awarded on the first day of term:

• Labour House            26
• Conservative House  23
• Reform House            22
• LibDem House           11
• Green House                4
• SNP House                   3

Finally, in breaking news the former headmaster, Mr Starmer confirmed yesterday that he would be leaving the school campus immediately, amid rumours that he had accepted a plum role elsewhere. The head of admissions has reported a sudden interest in school places from the Green family.

Any parents reading this who want to keep in touch with the latest school news and live updates from any of the house field trips, can contact the school communications team at SEC Newgate UK for further updates.